


No More Pretending

by dontchasethesheep



Category: Dead Poets Society (1989)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-18
Updated: 2014-02-18
Packaged: 2018-01-13 00:07:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1205518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dontchasethesheep/pseuds/dontchasethesheep
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The boys are huddled outside Todd's door, and none of them want to be the one to tell him his best friend is dead.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No More Pretending

**Author's Note:**

> Can be interpreted as slash if you wish.
> 
> Disclaimers: I don't own anything you recognize. Previously published on fanfiction.net.

Charlie stood with his head down, fighting back bitter tears, hands roughly shoved in the pockets of his bedrobe. Knox, Meeks and Pitts were standing around him in similar poses. The hall was lit, and that alone could have indicated a disturbance, for the lights were always turned off at curfew and were never turned back on until morning. The four shuffled around slightly, avoiding eye contact with each other and the door they were standing in front of.

If Charlie concentrated, he could pretend they weren't burdened with the responsibility of delivering the news of Neil's death. He could pretend they were just going to burst rudely into Todd and Neil's room and interrupt their studies, tearing them away from their books despite Todd's soft protests. If Charlie tried hard enough, he could just pretend all his friends were still alive and happy.

"Wh- who should tell him?" Meeks finally whispered, shattering the visage and voicing the question everyone was wondering.

"Should two of us do it? Should we all tell him? O-or just tell him in the morning," Knox suggested with a touch of desperation, trying to stall the decision.

"No… one of us should do it now," Charlie said reluctantly.

"Why is this so difficult? Why could I tell you, but not him?" Meeks said in a low voice, almost to himself.

For a moment, Charlie thought that nobody was going to answer, but Pitts knew the answer almost immediately.

"Because it's _Todd_ ," he said simply, and they all knew it was true.

Charlie stared at the door, thinking of the sleeping form that lay beyond it. They all knew that Todd and Neil had shared something special. Nobody was exactly sure what it was, but it was something that seemed to run almost deeper than friendship. They had seen the secret smiles and the reassuring touches and they had heard the smiles and affection in their voices. Nobody wanted the job of ruining the perfect picture. Charlie wanted so badly to preserve it. To keep the door closed and pretend that Neil was still alive, that he was still there for all of them.

Charlie looked around at his friends, sighing. He wished that they could just walk away and get someone else to tell him in the morning, but he knew that was selfish and almost cruel, even. Todd deserved to have someone close to both him and Neil tell him, someone who would help him cope. And that thought is what gave Charlie the courage to open the door, and walk over to Todd's bedside. He crouched down, glancing over at Knox, Meeks, and Pitts, one last time to steel his nerves, and then shook Todd gently, whispering his name.

"Todd? Todd," Charlie said, shoulders voice quavering and the tears slipping out of his eyes.

"Oh, Charlie," Todd groaned, shrugging Charlie's hand off and rolling over.

 _Don't make this harder than it already is, Todd,_ Charlie thought, almost allowing himself to let Todd go back to sleep before ordering himself to wake Todd up. He rolled Todd back over and he sighed in relief and regret when he saw Todd blink his eyes open.

"What is it?" Todd asked, immediately concerned when he noticed the broken look that had surely settled in Charlie's features. Todd's gaze traveled towards the door and back, looking increasingly uneasy.

"Neil's…. dead," Charlie said.

His voice broke, and he could almost hear Todd's heart do the same.


End file.
